RandomThoughts.

Thats what I feel like I am.

I just haven't been able to pull my life together this semester.

I've decided to let myself fail Italian.
I couldn't deal with the stress of it along with all this other shit in my life as well.

First F of my school career.

I'm trying to look at it in a positive way, after what, 15 years of school, I've only failed one class.
Ehh. It doesn't really help.

On another note, I forgot to pay my rent this month. Whoo for me.
We renewed our lease and for some reason I thought it still meant we were up to date until June, not the case.

So now on being a disappointment to my teacher I'm also one to my landlords and my roommates. We can throw my parents in there too. I know they are trying to sound supportive and help me but I can't hide from the resentment in their words.

Hopefully this loan thing will work out, I've hit three dead ends but this one looks hopeful...Money sucks.

Oh yeah and another fun thing this weekend was my neck decided to randomly swell up on one side. One day I thought I was getting and earache or something then i went to bed, got up, and my neck on one side had swollen out like two inches. Throughout the day it kept creeping further back on my neck and up my face a bit.
Weird.
I had Phil's mom check it out and she said if it didnt get any better soon it was probably an infection and I might have to go on iv antibiotics...luckily it's gone down and it's only a little swollen on my face.

The other night everything really got to me but now I'm just trying not to get so worked up about shit.

It's too beautiful out to be so angry and sad.

As long as this loan works out and I find a job this summer asap then I think I should be good....

I've squeezed in a bit of a life each summer even when working 2 jobs and literally only getting 2-4 hours of sleep a night soooo yeah.

life goes on.
its short and we gotta live it while we can.